Thank you so much, Armand, for writing this. I saw a newspaper article about this woman who braved the open courtroom to testify against her ex. It was simply ghastly.
I cover a similar story in one of my novels, Armand. Interestingly, in France, there's a statute of limitations on murder but not on rape. Thank you for honoring this woman's memory.
We don't realize how widespread domestic abuse is, and often, the perpetrators are charming and know how to mask their depravity. I, too, think his sentence was too light. Gisele will carry the harm done to her for a lifetime. Well articulated, Armand.
Armand says he has never been around anyone, that he is aware, that abused women.
Liz finds it hard to conceptualize.
For me, I saw physical violence towards women and extreme physical punishment towards me and other children from an early age. I grew up in a world of violence and often from supposedly good Christians who believed their behavior was legitimate.
Therefore, I believe, I have a deeper understanding of this behavior than those that never experienced it. I, also, believe it helps explain my less than positive attitudes towards humanity in general.
I have learned that people who never experienced this type of life see a completely different world than I and others of similar experience do and will likely never understand our vision of the world. Having empathy without experience is not the same as empathy with the experience.
Jim Sanders: You speak powerfully here about "a world of violence . . . from supposedly good Christians who believed their behavior was legitimate."
Thank you, Jim, so very much for sharing of your experience.
I admire that you grow into an empathetic and good man after horrific experience. I admire that very, very much.
I absolutely accept that, "Having empathy without experience is not the same as empathy with the experience."
I have long known that to be the case.
I have known, for example, a very grand, cultured, and gracious woman who had grown up in such a home of abuse, and who gave richly of herself in love to her husband and her children. A wonderful, wonderful woman, and it moved me what a grand person she was after growing up with violence.
I have long enjoyed your and my dialogues and you make points that enrich my mind.
Thank you for not taking offense to my reply as I wasn’t trying to be argumentative but only expressing what I have observed. The problem is, to communicate an idea without writing a whole book to get into the complexities and exceptions, one’s thought may seem extremely simplistic and judgmental.
For example, my girlfriend of 25-years grew up in nice, educated Jewish community with a maid and other help. Yet, she is the most caring and empathetic person I know and probable have known.
It is hard to communicate succinctly without washing out some complexities.
I have heard the story over NPR for some time, in shock, and the NYT article encapsulated it well.
On the Gulf Coast of Mississippi, there is the "Gulf Coast Women's Center", which provides safe shelter to abused women and their children. They are hidden and inaccessible to the abuser.
I had one case, a woman I all but begged to avail herself, but who returned to the situation.
These cases are so sick and are incomprehensible.
I feel the same way about Thomas Homan's plans for immigrant children.
What irks me to no end about the so-called border problem is that a bipartison bill to address immigration and a secure border by providing the funding needed to treat immigrants fairly and humanely was killed by Trump and his flying monkeys.
Thank you so much, Armand, for writing this. I saw a newspaper article about this woman who braved the open courtroom to testify against her ex. It was simply ghastly.
Happy holidays to you and your family.
Carol L. Clark: Ghastly, indeed. Incomprehensible that any person is treated this way.
Happy holidays to you and your loved ones!
I love your post:
https://substack.com/home/post/p-153347462
So much stated, so current, so complete, crisply written!
Thank you for your kind words.
It's snowing here today, small flakes that indicate that it won't stop soon. At least that looks like to my uneducated eyes. Perhaps snowy holidays?
Take good care, Armand. Thank you.
I cover a similar story in one of my novels, Armand. Interestingly, in France, there's a statute of limitations on murder but not on rape. Thank you for honoring this woman's memory.
Lorraine Evanoff: Very good that there is no statute of limitations on rape, which is exactly as it should be.
In the news stories I read, something strange emerged, that "lack of consent" is not an element of proof in rape in France.
Is that true?
It seems, from the NYT story, that the elements relate more to force.
We don't realize how widespread domestic abuse is, and often, the perpetrators are charming and know how to mask their depravity. I, too, think his sentence was too light. Gisele will carry the harm done to her for a lifetime. Well articulated, Armand.
Ilona Goanos: Gisèle will carry the harm done to her for a lifetime.
Yes, that is the tragic case.
The trauma and torture continued over a decade.
My God, I am glad there is court resolution, but the trauma is deeply within.
The person within is very brave and enduring. But what do the internal, inerasable wounds do to her?
Thank you so much for your and my exchanges, which I enjoy and which enrich me considerably.
Confirmation--IMO--of what I believe to be true.
Armand says he has never been around anyone, that he is aware, that abused women.
Liz finds it hard to conceptualize.
For me, I saw physical violence towards women and extreme physical punishment towards me and other children from an early age. I grew up in a world of violence and often from supposedly good Christians who believed their behavior was legitimate.
Therefore, I believe, I have a deeper understanding of this behavior than those that never experienced it. I, also, believe it helps explain my less than positive attitudes towards humanity in general.
I have learned that people who never experienced this type of life see a completely different world than I and others of similar experience do and will likely never understand our vision of the world. Having empathy without experience is not the same as empathy with the experience.
Jim Sanders: You speak powerfully here about "a world of violence . . . from supposedly good Christians who believed their behavior was legitimate."
Thank you, Jim, so very much for sharing of your experience.
I admire that you grow into an empathetic and good man after horrific experience. I admire that very, very much.
I absolutely accept that, "Having empathy without experience is not the same as empathy with the experience."
I have long known that to be the case.
I have known, for example, a very grand, cultured, and gracious woman who had grown up in such a home of abuse, and who gave richly of herself in love to her husband and her children. A wonderful, wonderful woman, and it moved me what a grand person she was after growing up with violence.
I have long enjoyed your and my dialogues and you make points that enrich my mind.
Thank you for not taking offense to my reply as I wasn’t trying to be argumentative but only expressing what I have observed. The problem is, to communicate an idea without writing a whole book to get into the complexities and exceptions, one’s thought may seem extremely simplistic and judgmental.
For example, my girlfriend of 25-years grew up in nice, educated Jewish community with a maid and other help. Yet, she is the most caring and empathetic person I know and probable have known.
It is hard to communicate succinctly without washing out some complexities.
It's hard to even conceptualize such depravity.
Liz Gauffreau: Like you, I cannot.
I have heard the story over NPR for some time, in shock, and the NYT article encapsulated it well.
On the Gulf Coast of Mississippi, there is the "Gulf Coast Women's Center", which provides safe shelter to abused women and their children. They are hidden and inaccessible to the abuser.
I had one case, a woman I all but begged to avail herself, but who returned to the situation.
These cases are so sick and are incomprehensible.
I feel the same way about Thomas Homan's plans for immigrant children.
https://abcnews.go.com/US/shock-awe-trump-border-czar-tom-homan-plans/story?id=115972346
https://www.latintimes.com/trump-border-czar-threatens-separate-undocumented-parents-us-citizen-kids-they-put-themselves-569740
What irks me to no end about the so-called border problem is that a bipartison bill to address immigration and a secure border by providing the funding needed to treat immigrants fairly and humanely was killed by Trump and his flying monkeys.
Liz Gauffreau: That bipartisan bill was our great chance.
Agree totally.